The weirdest thing happened.
I bought Marc a Ding-Dong the other day as a special treat. He loves Ding-Dongs and I can't stand them, so it was perfect - something he could enjoy, and something I would not be tempted to eat. He put the Ding-Dong into the fridge to eat later. The next day he opened the fridge and hollered to me, "hey, what the heck - why did you eat my Ding-Dong?" I answered, "I would NEVER eat a Ding-Dong." Seriously, never. We searched the fridge and no Ding-Dong. And no Ding-Dong wrapper in the garbage.
So we have been wondering about the disappearance. Obviously SOMEONE removed the Ding-Dong from the fridge. I am a little freaked out. I am currently pricing how much it would be to have all the locks on the house changed. We have lived here so long, and have given keys to cleaning ladies and the kids have lost keys, and some of our neighbors have keys just in case, and etc and so it is feasible to think that someone used a key, came in while we were gone, and helped themselves to a snack. The strange thing is that nothing else is missing, except maybe this little gold book stand that was on a side table. I absolutely can not find that, but I can't remember if it turned up missing the same day as the Ding-Dong.
I once heard a story of a family who discovered that someone was living in their attic and coming down during the day when they were at work and eating their food, leaving dirty dishes and crumbs. We have looked in every nook and cranny and haven't found anyone, so that is probably out. I have also heard about sleepwalking people who eat without knowing it. I don't think that is it. I can't imagine eating a Ding-Dong even in a trance. And Marc is up every night fully aware that he is consuming hot chocolate - so I don't think it could be him.
Anyway, like I said, I am a little freaked out by this whole thing.
I had to be gone for a couple hours today, so I set a trap for the Ding-Dong bandit. I sprinkled a light dusting of flour on my wood floors in front of every door - enough that you couldn't jump over the trap. I figured if the bandit came in, it would leave a foot print that couldn't be repaired. If the dusting of flour was disturbed I would see it and know someone had been here. Crazy, I know, but it gave me some sort of peace of mind. And it is easy to vacuum up.
So what do you all think? Any advice for me?
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17 comments:
hahahahaha i think you and dad need to continue to get out more :) my money is on dad eating the ding-dong.
No, seriously, he didn't eat it. Neither did I. Honestly, it is just gone.
I'm sorry if I sound insensitive, but I am finding the image of you sprinkling flour all around your house in hopes of foiling a ding-dong thief, quite funny. However, that kind of ting drives me crazy. My bet is on Marc accidentally, with out even knowing it, throwing it away...like his throw away hand just has a mind of its own and doesn't even know what its doing. That's what usually has happened in our house when I can't find something.
Also, when I was in college, this girl who we were "friends" with, who lived upstairs, used to come in our apartment when nobody was there and take our food. And not because she was too poor to buy food or anything. She was just nuts. It took us a long time to figure out, but I couldn't believe it when we did. It turns out she could get our door open with a credit card. Crazy!
Mom,
I too think this is funny but I HAVE been thinking about it and I think I found your solution:
THE BORROWERS. You should know what I'm talking about...(though not sure how they could get such a large fridge open).
Ha ha.
Love,
Jane
Too funny, but it is driving me crazy!! Richard and I found a piece of glass on the kitchen floor about a month ago and we STILL can't figure out what it came off of.
LeAnn
That is weird too, LeAnn.
And for everyone else: the thing is, it seems kind of funny because it is a Ding Dong. But it really did disappear. What if it had been a whole chocolate cake. Then it would seem more real. Or what if it had been our TV. Then we would have called the police. You can't report a Ding Dong theft - but isn't it still breaking and entering if you steal something small? I have a feeling it is something like Danielle's upstairs nutty "friend".
Oh, and the flour - I just want to be able to see if anyone walked across it when I come home after I am out. I figure if I see footprints, then I will back out and get out, and call the cops. I don't want to interrupt a robbery. It is just until I can get all the locks changed. I laugh at my self when I am shaking flour, so you can laugh all you want Danielle! It probably would never foil a bandit, but I had to think of SOMETHING to calm my freakout.
Maybe it is the same person who is responsible for that random photo that turned up in my bedroom...do you remember that? Of some girl, and we never could figure out who the picture was of....dun dun dunnnnnn...that sounds creepy now. Ha ha.
Oh, ya, I do remember that Jane. A school picture of someone that no one had ever seen before. That was weird too. This is just pointing out to me that changing the locks is a very good idea.
And I remembered another case. Remember when my ruby ring went missing? I searched for it everywhere. A few years went by and Marc, knowing that I felt so bad about it, gave me another ring for Christmas. A few more years went by, and one day I opened my dresser drawer, and there was the missing ring sitting right on top of my stack of clothes. That was weird. Someone had to do that. That kind of freaked me out. As a matter of fact, this is all NOT helping me approach the ding Dong bandit calmly.
Marc just read all this and he thought it sounded like I was mad at Danielle for laughing at my floured floors. Sooo, I want to make it perfectly clear that what I meant was: It is OK to laugh, I am laughing at myself too.
If you think the flour on the floor is funny - you ought to see me trying to get in or out of the house without fouling the flour-floor trap. Double hernia, pulled hamstrings and pulled groin all come to mind.
This is really crazy. I just want another ding dong - and a clean floor!
Marc
I didn't think you were mad...I knew what you meant. And After reading Marc's comment about just wanting another ding-dong and clean floors I am REALLY laughing!
Colleen, as added protection, I think you should sprinkle corn flakes in front of the doors before you go to bed at night so you can hear the burglar when he walks in the house.
LeAnn
This is what we would do in The Bronx. You put a poisoned Ding Dong in the fridge. If it goes missing you search for a dead person.
Rico
I am rolling at you two!!!
Wow, this is hilarious!! I think Danielle might be on to something with Dad's magic throw-away hands. Things do tend to disappear. He can't help, it likes things tidy.
BUT...Jane might also be on to something with the Borrowers. Mom, remember that little mouse that you invisioned sitting in his chair, reading books in our crawl space? Remember how Randy and I thought we killed it? Maybe it was all a plot. Maybe we killed an innocent mouse and our little friend lives on, eating ding-dongs and reading books above the den :)
Oh, stop. And it was a chipmunk.
I am getting the locks changed, and I am hoping that will solve everything.
You are all too funny!
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